I have always experienced this duality. I think I will always keep on experiencing it. At times I do feel lot of clarity but sometimes or many times, this duality keeps coming back. It seems to be an integral part of me. It is a kind of thinking mechanism I am gifted with. Always weighing the pros and cons, right or wrong, yes or no, react or do not react and take action or just be there.

It surely helps in taking decisions that may be good for me. But the duality continues even after the decision is taken. The mind does not stop. It keeps on looking for the best options. Not only best but best in everything possible.  It keeps on struggling and ultimately loses its own peace.

So the mechanism which should help in choosing the right path, direction or option for a happy life ultimately ends up in creating confusion and stress and an unhappy life.

Many a times, I have experienced this and wondered as to why this perfect mechanism is failing?

LET GO!

Yes, that is what I am not able to do. Let Go!.

Even after going through the normal or natural process of weighing my options, I am not ready to let go certain things. I want everything. I am not ready to sacrifice anything. I keep struggling for best possible solutions and to get the best and the most out of everything and every situation. I should not lose anything and my mind keeps working on that.

After checking my options and deciding on correct one, I must take an action or decide on inaction and let it go. I can not get everything. However hard I may try or however long or deep I may think.

So I must accept to let things Go.

Another very important factor for my duality is my fear of taking a wrong action or proving my -self wrong or a failure. I fear being wrong and thus keep thinking too much about my course of action.

It is OK. I may be wrong. I can be wrong. Nothing wrong in that. Nothing wrong in being wrong. It is OK.

Once I accept that I am not a superhuman or a special human who has to be right, always, I can handle my duality in a serene manner. I can use my duality mechanism to check my options without any stress and become free to take decisions and action. I am then not worried about the outcome of my action because I accept that the outcome can be wrong. It is OK. I am still fine. I can always take new decisions and actions which again can be wrong or right and the process continues for ever.

 The Duality will continue, I will keep taking decisions. Sometimes right sometimes wrong, sometimes seemingly correct at that time and sometimes appearing to be wrong at that time.

It is OK. I have to just accept this. I have a duality. I am not a saint. The only thing I can do is being aware of this wonderful mechanism and slowly expect  it to be lesser in intensity and frequency.

I am fine.